While I wait for clients to submit their home birth story I thought I would share mine which I first shared on Instagram.
I went into labour in the evening after a sweep I had in the morning. I was 42+2 and I felt that was as far as I wanted to push the psychological battle of going against the guidelines.
During my time at home contractions were 2 in 10 minutes and I managed to eat, have a bath, sleep, shower and have breakfast before my waters went at 9 am and I had (expectedly) thin meconium in the waters. I decided to change my plan of not calling the midwives until the end.
Unfortunately, the community midwives said they couldn’t attend the home birth as they were short of staff. It was 9 am, I also doubt they wanted to come out to a slightly “higher risk” labour. I felt this was as far as I wanted to push boundaries and I went into the hospital. Staying home would have maybe stressed me and maybe I would have not labour well. I had coped well at home with movement, rest, relaxing music and using my voice. I was very with it, monitoring contractions, occasionally listening to baby (couldn’t let go of all my midwifery brain) but also relaxed, trusting, excited and very present with each contraction, letting it happen to me.
When I arrived at the hospital I laid down in bed on my side for 1 hour as that’s what I felt like doing. The midwife wanted to do a VE, I asked her “can you not tell if I’m in labour?”I accepted because I knew it will play in my favor to know if I was in established labour. To my disbelief, as labour had been sort of easy so far, I was fully dilated, even after spending so much of my labour lying down (but very vocal).
I then got up and instinctively I started squatting up and down with every contraction. THIS WAS A GAME CHANGER! Suddenly the pain transformed and I became very quiet during contractions, but still chatty and with it in between (as if I was not in labour at all!). That lack of a continuous altered state of consciousness surprised me, I was just extremely present with the sensations of labour, but able to interact with my surroundings as normal. I had even high-fived the consultant that did a sweep for me the previous morning as I walked into the ward , but I went back to being loud when the next contraction came.
I was respected in my wishes to keep the labour low risk, no CTG, minimal interaction and they filled the pool up for me (but never made it).
As my son was getting close to crowning with none in the room knowing other than me, a second midwife walked in and introduced herself, I immediately shushed her “shhhhhhhhh”. That’s the point when I couldn’t interact no longer, the sensations were so intense, not painful, but it required all my attention.
I didn’t push, I just let it all through me. I didn’t remember a dreaded transition other than an uncomfortable 20 minutes bumpy ride to the hospital when I thought I was 3cm while my doula feared I was not going to make it as my grunts were so deep. It was less than 2h from fully until my son was born with a short “pushing”/active stage where I didn’t push.
My son was born on the labour ward floor in silence (I shook my head when they prompted me to get on the bed), I caught him which is what I wanted, or more like I deposited him on a pillow on the floor since the body flew out of me in the same contraction the head was born. I suspect I tore at that point as the head came out beautifully in two contractions.
When I saw him I felt he needed a bit of stimulation while the midwife’s stressed voice told me to do skin to skin. It was sooo out of place to order me to do something even if well intended. My midwife brain took over a bit and I dried him first to make sure he cried, I wanted to have a good look at him! He was perfect but oh my word, crying so much!
And then the PPH unfolded, but that’s a topic for another post as there is a lot to say about it, especially because my mistrust of the midwife meant I declined active management when it would have been helpful. I was totally fine and in utter disbelief.
This is my journey, my birth/ home birth story, my very own. It does not mean that I would advise anyone else to do the same. However, I cannot deny that I bring these experiences to my work as an independent midwife, and that the way I experienced labour will shape the way I prepare you for your birth.